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Rachel

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Dilemmas

Sat Jan 5, 2008, 1:31 PM

Mood: Stuck
Listening to: the whirr of the hard drive.

Life is better. Really, it is.
I've talked for hours and hours with Mark about things, and we've come to an understanding. The important thing is that we both still love each other and are still together. He's told me what's been going through his mind during these past few months, and I'm okay with where we are right now. Nothing is set yet, but no matter what, we love each other. And right now, that's all that matters.

I highly doubt that I'll even come close to finishing that bag over break. I've got one week left, and I haven't done a thing except for sketching out the most basic of basic plans for the design. And I wanted to read The Count of Monte Cristo as well, but I've only finished about 3 of over 100 chapters. And...I really have no excuse other than laziness.

I'm GOING to the fabric store to use those coupons. I'm GOING to eat something for lunch. I WANT to go see Mark, but at the same time, I DON'T because I've spent time with him every day this week except Wednesday. It's ironic because before, it was he who complained about spending too much time together, and now it's he who's initiating all the get-togethers. Interesting.

Then again, I also don't want to work on that bag. Why is that, though? I was so excited about making it weeks ago. Why don't I want to make it anymore? I don't know. It IS a rather big project; perhaps I should save it for the summer. It's not like it's getting done this week anyhow.

I feel torn between two desires. And I think I know which one will win out in the end.

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~Sarlock Jan 6, 2008, 6:30:07 PM

Hey you, people always try to get more done over the holidays than they ever can, simply due to spending loads of time on other stuff. You had a lot of things come up and a lot of things on your mind over your break. It's seriously not surprising that you haven't gotten everything done that you wanted to get done.

It's not laziness, it's just too much at once. You've got friends, family, etc to spend time with, plus those projects? I wouldn't expect anyone to get everything done. It's not time wasted either. You've been figuring things out, which is awesome.

As always, I hope for the best for you. You'll get your book read eventually, and when you get the time, do the bag. Maybe try to break it up into little pieces of it every now and then when you get the time and the urge to work on it, rather than trying to do it all at once. Designs over one month, and start it over the next couple. (I don't know that kinda stuff too well, so I have no clue if it's even possible, but it's an idea, no? XD)

If what I'm saying is completely out to lunch, well, that's fine, I just wanna say hey, make ya smile, and try to offer some random advice.

Hope you're doing well, I hope to chat at you on AIM again sometime soon

--
I am a man of many words.

Words can kill you with their strength if you hold them dear.

Watch the notes of the past, hold their wisdom dear.

Do not be afraid to rip a story apart and start anew.