As some of you know, Mark, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, is in the Army National Guard. As some of you know, he has recently been called for duty in Afghanistan. For the past few months, I've spent some quality time with him and have been pretty good about keeping my mind off of it all, but the day has finally come: tomorrow, he ships out for a bit of training, and after that, it's off to Afghanistan.

The good thing is that he will be back in no more than 398 days (or possibly as few as 362 days). A year is a very long time, but I'm not worried about me. I know I can deal. It's him I'm worried about. However, he's an incredibly smart guy; he knows how to stay safe and still get the job done. I have faith in him.

And more than anything, I'm just so proud of him for doing this. It's something that not everyone can do, myself included. Sure, I'm scared of what the future holds, but I have to put that aside. I can't think of the "what ifs" all the time as that would make me go insane. Right now, all I can think about is how proud I am of him and how much I love him...and of how much he truly loves me.

Last night, Mark and I hung out with a few friends. Ate a late dinner, watched Clerks II, and had an overall fabulous time. And after we left and had arrived back at my place, when it was finally time for me to get out of his car, we did NOT say "good-bye." I really hate that word. It's much too final. Instead, I looked him in the eyes, smiled, and said, "See you soon." And for me, at least, this time will go by rather quickly since I'll have a lot to keep me busy: my job, books, applying for the Teacher Ed program, school in the fall, preparing for studying abroad, marching band, and so much more. Like I said, I'm not worried about me, but I'll be thinking of Mark every single day.

He did tell me that he'll try to send a quick email whenever possible to say something along the lines of "Still alive. Bye!" After all of this so far, it's great that his sense of humor is still intact.

See you soon, Mark. See you soon.

P.S. -- Why isn't there an emoticon for being numb? Because that's how I feel right now.